Funny School Jokes

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right.... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog..
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

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TypeS of aashiq : Very interesting and Funny :

AMEER AASHIQ
===============
Main Bhi Kharidar Hoon Main Bhi Khareedon Gaa
Pyar Kahan Bikta Hai Pata Bata Doo …….

GAREEB AASHIQ
===============
Sona Na Chandi Na Koi Mahal Jane Mann
Tujhko Me Day Sakoon Gaa …….

JHOOTA AASHIQ
===============
Kal jab Dekha Main Ne Chand Jharokay Mein
Uss Ko Kiya Salaam Tumhare Dhokay Mein ……..

SACHAA AASHIQ
===============
Dil Hogaya Hai Tera Dewana Aab Koi Jachta Nahin
Naadan Hai Samajhta Nahin Bin teray Rehta Nahin …….

KAMYAB AASHIQ
===============
O Kendi Hai Sayaan Main Teri aan …….

NAKAAM AASHIQ
===============
Inn Say Nain Mila Kay Dekho ,Ye Dhoka Bhee Kha Kay Dekho

CHALAAK AASHIQ
===============
Buss Bhai Buss Ziyada Baat Nahin Memsaab
Aaj Kay Baad Mulaqat Nahin Memsaab …….

MAJBOOR AASHIQ
===============
Izhaar Bhi Mushkil Hai Kuch Keh Bhi Nahin Saktay
Majboor Hai Uff Allah Chup Reh Bhi Nahi Saktay….

BUZDIL AASHIQ
===============
Main Tera Shehar Chour Jaoun Gaa …….

DHEETE AASHIQ
===============
Chahay Jiss Shehar Bhee Jaen Chahay Jiss Mulk Bhee Jaen
May Hi Mahiwal Hoon Tera Sohniye Tu Meri Gal sun ja …

IZZAT DAR AASHIQ
===============
Teri Ruswayon Say Darta Hoon
Jub Teray Shehar Se Guzar Taa Hoon……….

Kanjoos Aashik
==============
Kar diya izhare-ishq hamne mobile par,
laakh rupaye ki bat thi,
do rupaye main ho gayee (wah wah………)

Innocent Aashik
================
Maine tujhe dekha
Dekhta raha,
Dekhta hi gaya……..
Phir mujhe chashma lag gaya

Careful Aashik
==============
Aur bhi cheezain bahut see lut chuki hain dil ke saath
Ye bataya dooston ne ishq furmane ke baad;
Is liye kamre ki ek ek cheez “check” karta hoon main
“Ek tere aane se pehle, ek tere jaane ke baad”

Married
=======
Taj Mahal kya cheez hai
main to usse bhi bada mahal banaoonga,
aree Mumtaz to marke dafan hui thi,
main to tujhe zinda hi dafnaonga.

Truthful Aashik
===============
KAASH TERE CHEHRE PE
CHECHAK KE DAAG HOTE
CHAND TO TUM HO HI
SITARE BHI SAATH HOTE

Kismat ka maara aashiq
====================
Khidki khuli zulfein bikhri
Dilne kaha dildar nikla
Par hai re meri footi kismat
Nahaya hua sardar nikla

Security guard ashiq
===============
jehre sawere sawere kuri nu gharon pick karde aa( matlab ohde pichhe pichhe aunde a) college chhutti hon tak bahar wait karde aa te fer ghar chhad ke apne ghar chale jande aa

Bhooond Aashiq
===============
Yaar Nu Maniya Rabb Assi,
Unnah De Kadma Ch Zindagi Chaad Ditti,
Unnah Taras Na Koi Keeta Te Saddi Ishqe Di Arzi Paad Ditti,

Aggio Sanu Pushde Ne, “Tu Pisha Kyun Sada Karda A,
Mere Bhrava Da Sahmnaa Kinj Karengaa, Kutte Sadde To Taa Darda A

Tu Ki Jaane Mohabbat Saddi, Jehri Har Doosri Kudi Naal Ho Jaaandi,
Dar Dor Taa Sanu Hai Nahin Koi Bas Sohriyaa Daa Kutta Samaj Ke Lehaaz Jehi Aa Jaandi

Bebas Aashiq
===============
Tenu Gairaa Naal Vihonn Da, Tere Peo Nu Bharnaa Paao Harzana Ni,
Laa Ke Landar Jeha Peg Desi Daa Karooo Viah Ch Kunjarkhana ni,
Din Chud De Nu Tere Ghar Aggey ,Karrooo Ikuthe Itta Rodde Ni, Phir Langar Vele Maar-Maar Navve Tent Ch Karooo Magorre Ni..

Kangaaal Aashiq
===============
Mein Na Samja Mahiwaal Khud nu,
Naa Mein Naddiaa Cheer Ke Aa Sakdaa…..
Mahiwaal Taa Sohni Nu Pat Khwaaa Giyaaa,
Mein Tenu Samose Bhi Nahin Khilaaa Sakdaa..

Darpok Aashiq
===============
Naa Mein Samjaa Raanjha Khud Nu,
Naa Mein Ghoddi Le Ke Aa Sakdaa,,
Tere Veera Da Sahmnaa Mein Karra Kinj,
Kadde Teri bebe To Khaadi Hoyi Kut Ni Bhulla Sakdaa.

Nayaa Aashiq
===============
aisa pahli baar hua hai 17 18 saalon mein
koi aai jaai meray khayaalon mein

Still to b Aashiq
= === =
Kehte hain ki ISHQ main neend ud jaati hai
Koi humse bhi ishq kare
Khambhaqat neend bahut aati hai

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Boyz vs Girls : Must read :

MONTHLY MILESTONES OF A Bachelor GUY

a) Bank Balance


First Week = 20000

Second Week = 2000

Third Week = 200

Fourth Week = 20



b) Conveyance


First Week - Auto ("I can afford it")

Second Week - Share Auto ("I would like to share. I am selfless!")

Third Week - Bus ("Public figures should travel by public transport")

Fourth Week - Walk ("Good for health")



c) Girl Friends


First Week - Eena , Meena & Tina ("I can BUY love")

Second Week - Meena &Tina ("I have enough girl friends")

Third Week - Tina ("I am loyal to her")

Fourth Week - "Huh! There is no pure love on earth!"



d) Mobile Maintenance


First Week - Frequent outgoing calls ("This is what mobile is invented for")

Second Week - Restricted outgoing calls ("I should not create unnecessary traffic on mobile lines")

Third Week - Rare outgoing calls (" Mobile should be used in urgent situations only")

Fourth Week - Only incoming calls ("I am not going to call her until she calls me")

e) Boozing

First Week - "Come, let's go to Goa and freak out!

Second Week - "Man, there is nothing in Goa . Let's go to Mysore .."

Third Week - "The best place to booze on earth is our house itself. What say?"

Fourth Week - "Drinking is injurious to health."

MONTHLY MILESTONES of a Single Girl

a) Bank Balance


First Week = 20000

Second Week = 20000

Third Week = 20000

Fourth Week = 20000



b) Conveyance


First Week - Auto ("after all my boy friend pays for it")

Second Week - Auto ("after all my boy friend pays for it")

Third Week - Auto ("after all my boy friend pays for it")

Fourth Week - Auto ("after all my boy friend pays for it")



c) Boy Friends


First Week - Abhinav , saleem, Peter

Second Week - Sachin, sumeet, vinay

Third Week - Abhijeet, Ram, christopher. ..

Fourth Week - Arun , Saket, vimal..



d) Mobile Maintenance


First Week - Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)

Second Week - Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)

Third Week - Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)

Fourth Week - Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)



e) Boozing


First Week - "Come, let's go to Goa

Second Week - "Come, let's go to Kulu

Third Week - "Come, let's go to Shimla

Fourth Week - "Come, let's go to darjeeling

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Beautiful Faces: Beautiful Girls

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